La Sventura di Eric

Thoughts

2010-02-06T13:48:00.004+08:00

Yes I'm still alive and well. It's 2010!

Having spent the last hour taking a retrospective on my previous blog posts the last four / five years was bittersweet.

It made me realise a few things. That I genuinely love my friends Anna, Diana, Riccardo and Guillaume and they really care about me.

It also made me realise that I had been chasing for emotional fulfillment and had not been a very happy person in that respect.

Thirdly, I am a workaholic. That isn't a bad thing but work is something that gives me fulfillment to make up for the emotional vaccum.

However, I think I've had it good. And i will continue to make it better. Always be hopeful and be positive not only in thought but also in action.

Ben

2008-06-03T20:29:00.004+08:00

I guess friendship can blossom into love and love can become friendship. I always wonder why people associate feelings with the heart. When one is happy, you feel it in your whole being. When you are in love, you feel it from your head to your toes. When someone tells you he doesn't love you anymore, that's when you feel the pain in the heart. We learn new things everyday.

Time

2008-06-03T00:00:00.005+08:00

It had been a long six months. I'm glad I'm writing again.

No it hadn't been eventful. No love found and no love lost. I've been thinking about Ben. I wonder if he thinks of me. It probably doesn't matter. Time heals and time erases.

My friend Anna has found love. So has Diana, not the perfect situation but I am still happy for her. I think we have to be hopeful. Ricky has moved to BKK with Philip. Even the world's biggest love cynic Jerome is in honeymoon bliss. Pet-me has got a hot bourgeoisie garçon. In the six months, everyone around me fell in love.

When I think back about all the friends that I've made, I feel lucky. For they know me for who I am and we really care for each other. These friends I know will still be friends in the next 50 years.

There is something in the air. A change is coming. It will engulf me. I won't see it coming. We must be hopeful. Because sometimes that's all we got.

Emerging from the shadows...

2008-06-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

I love Zumanity

2007-12-08T14:54:00.001+08:00

Stéphane Pompougnac

2007-11-17T15:30:00.000+08:00

It was at Zouk last night Stéphane smiled at me.

Desperately seeking Eric

2007-11-15T23:14:00.000+08:00

In all the years of meeting so many men.... men of all ages, sizes and backgrounds, nationalities, for the first time, I feel a strong desire to meet someone closer to my image. Someone spunkly, intelligent and around my age. Good manners is a big plus. But I'm married to my work. I can't do routine anymore. Being single is becoming really tired.

But no, I'm not getting desperate. In fact, I'm kind of holding out. Holding out for what? I don't know. It's not like I have a horde of men banging down my door. Not even one. Not a single one. At the moment, it's kinda mechanical. Feels kinda empty.

If even the ugly ones can find someone they like and like them back, then I prolly will meet someone eventually. Someone around my age, spunky and intelligent. I can say i'm the problem, I can say i'm the centrifugal force all along but I won't. Because I am not.

I'm great, spunky and intelligent. If I deserve me, the others must be missing out.

Norma or Medea?

2007-11-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. I've been complaining too much. Becoming very unmotivated and seemed to have lost interest in general. I'm doing nothing much these days except work, going to the gym and listening to Maria Callas.

I should get out and meet people, be a super ultra slut again. Or I'll just settle for falling in love and have two kids and a picket fence. My life needs some drama. I've also thought my life would be extraordinary. It would be filled with great happiness and major disappointments. But it will be remembered. Just like Maria Callas, I've been listening to two of her most famous roles recently - Norma and Medea.

Norma, a druid high priestess, had two children with Pollione, a roman warrior. He meets stupid slut Adalgisa, a member of Norma's sorority, also a priestess, and has an illicit affair with her. Norma finds out and rages war on the romans. Pollione is caught and brought back to Norma and her people. She tells her people there is a traitor amongst them. Of course she was referring to stupid slut Adalgisa. But she realised that she herself was guilty of doing the nasty with a roman. In an act of self-guilt and her love for Pollione, she exclaims that it is she! For that, Norma must die. But she knows that she will die with Pollione. The cheating bastard seeing that Norma chooses to perish with him, re-ignites his love for Norma. Both sing their everlasting love for each other while being burnt alive in the pyre of fire.

Medea's story is world-renowned. She like Norma, has two children, with Jason. She finds out Jason wants to marry Glauce, also a stupid slut. Long story short, when she found out, she killed Glauce with a poisoned dress and Creon, Glauce's father. To hurt Jason further, she kills her two own children and flees.

My point is, would you rather live a pointless, bland and boring life or live a life like Norma and Medea? If you find out that your lover cheats on you, would your revenge be like Norma's or Medea's?

Work and work it out

2007-10-31T21:50:00.000+08:00

Today I feel like writing in my blog but i am so mentally drained from my work that I can hardly think coherently. I'm hardly up for anything after work these days and this is not healthy. I have to literally drag my ass to the gym five days a week, a new programme I just started on. Last week, i was determined. This week, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

As much as I try, I will miss out a day or two. And I feel so bad after missing a workout. Why should I put out so much at work and sacrifice my lifestyle? Doing well in my work is important, taking care of myself is important too. Something's got to give of course. Do I work less, think less and feel good enough for a work out after work, OR put in 200% at work and feel so worn out that I feel incapacitated for anything? That's the million dollar question.

Who's the idiot that invented the term "work-life balance"? It doesn't exist.

I am convincing myself more and more that I am an idiot doing this to myself. Rationally speaking, the job takes alot out of me, and the pay is so so. It is capitalism at it's finest. More and more, $$$ is taking priority over job satisfaction. Increasingly, I believe that money can buy happiness.

Yes i do. People say all the time that money can't buy happiness. Don't believe them, because more often than not, these group of people do not have money.

My 60 hour week

2007-10-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

For the past four days, I was in the office at 8am, ploughing through with my team on the presentation till 11pm. We were all tired, we all wanted to go home. Tempers flared, differences arose. But we all know that we had to get the presentation done. This being part of a training programme, it was hard to give it the deserved commitment. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

The interesting about working in a team in a pressure cooker environment is that everyone's strengths and weaknesses are stripped bare for all to see. We needed sleep, we were hungry and we were brain dead. But we managed to squeeze out the remaining ounces of energy to apply the B-M methodology to the preso.

We stuck together in the end and gave our spew in front of the judges. We knew very well that the competing team was much stronger. What was really important to us was to show that we had a solid case, a great concept and an exciting campaign. We weren't looking to win.

Nevertheless, victory is sweet. But it sure was unexpected. Although it was just a "game", I think the underdogs got its day. In the words of our "coach" and "professor" - "Thank you for playing Leading Growth".

I want my life back

2007-10-17T22:22:00.000+08:00

It's 10.23pm and I'm still in the office. Noooooooooooooooooo!!!! I want my life back. Give me my life back!

This is not healthy. Fuck you. Yes, fuck you Pete. Did I mention I saw him at Slide when I was in Sydney? Fuck you Pete.

I haven't been to the gym in two weeks, I've been working to late to find time to go. I'm eating too much and I look like fuck.

Oh my god! It's 10.27pm!!! I'm gonna miss Grey's Anatomy!

Left my Heart Down Under

2007-10-14T11:05:00.000+08:00

Two weeks went past just like a snap of the fingers. I had no expectations before I arrived in Sydney and wasn’t the least excited about it. I wanted to take a break and somewhere at the back of my head, a little voice kept telling me that a break in another city just doesn’t sound right. I recall my first day in Sydney, a bit of a culture shock. Especially on Oxford Street, so many crazies, homeless people, people who haven’t bathed for months, even years. Every time one walks past me, I could smell the stench. It smells quite sour. Like lime mixed with blue cheese turned bad. Haha….

What didn’t help was that Benedict told me he was mugged twice on the streets. My first day, I kept looking over my shoulders, anticipating some dingy character ready to pounce on me, not hesitating to kill me if I didn’t give them what they wanted. Of cos I would submit hehehe… But over the days the feeling evaporated. There is much to do in Sydney, if you love the great outdoors, there's Bondi, Obelisk [sic], Manly and even the Zoo. The shopping isn't as bad as made out to be but the strength of the aussie dollar makes everything just a tad expensive. They even have Krispy Kreme. Someone license it here please!

Down to the most important detail of the trip. The Men. Wow. I wanna move here. It’s like I’ve died and gone to the land of perfection. Every corner I turn there's a hottie standing there, walking down the street, talking on the phone, sipping a coffee.... The clubbing scene is great, the fad now is boys in neon shorts and t-shirts. It’s like a technicolor orgy on the dancefloor. But of course, the clothes came off after the first set.

In the two weeks, I met alot of people. They are happy people, happy about life. Some don't have high-flying careers, some just make ends meet. But they are happy. Surrounded by great friends. Surrounded by the possibilities of Sydney, the great outdoors and the simple things in life. Makes me wonder... haveI wasted my life away by working so hard. But then again, these people are just responsible for themselves. Aussies are wonderful and friendly, whether it was genuine or fake, I was won over.

It was with a heavy heart that I left this little wonder called Sydney. I don't wanna go back to work!!! (Grabs hair in horror)

Sunday thoughts

2007-08-12T13:29:00.000+08:00

It's a beautiful Sunday morning. There is breeze in the trees and I can vaguely hear the birds. Just got off the phone with Diana. We had a weird conversation on libido and obsession with sex for the sake of just doing it. She asked me to get a cat, haha... A cat i won't get but maybe I'll start taking stock of myself and my actions.

It's not easy to live a life without consequence. My motto had always been "If i don't hurt other people, then it's fine". But i was wrong. In the end, I was the one hurting myself. It wont' be easy, but it's time I tell myself to think of things not as an end in itself. One's self-respect can only withstand so much erosion.

Anyway i digress, there is much to be sorted out. Onto happy thoughts. I'm so looking forward to my holiday in Sydney in October. Catch up with Ben and Pete. Oh Pete... I called him yesterday and he hung up on me. I forgot he's in London now and he was 7 hours behind. Sorry Pete. Didn't mean to wake you up at 4am :-) Still dunno what I want to do in Sydney but I guess i won't plan. I'll just let things happen!

It's been an uneventful break. Was off work since Thursday and I had not done much. Maybe just gym... I'm proud to say I've been everyday since Thursday. Gotta look perfect for Sydney :-)

August will be a big month for work. So much going on. Then September will be execution. But I love my job. Alright now, gonna take a shower and head out to gym soon. Later...

TT Weekly Aug 5

2007-08-06T22:14:00.000+08:00

Prima Donna

2007-07-26T19:07:00.000+08:00

This is why Callas is the PRIMA DONNA.

Watch this movie

2007-07-16T13:53:00.000+08:00

Broken English - Saw the movie starring Posey Parker and Melvin Poupard with Pete on Saturday night. It's a movie on the desperation of being single and sex as a form of intimacy and the feeling of being wanted.

I can totally empathise.

http://www.brokenenglishfilm.com/

8 nights 7 days

2007-07-15T18:02:00.000+08:00

Day 1 - Orchard Road, Movie
Day 2 - National Museum, Esplanade
Day 3 - Rest
Day 4 - Arab Street
Day 5 - Holland Village
Day 6 - Clarke Quay
Day 7 - Sentosa

Yes his name is Pete. Haha... weird, crazy, confused Pete.

Pete likes to drink beer. He likes trannies and is branded by some Japanese vodka brand. I had a great time.

See ya in Sydney!

Jeromi's non birthday

2007-07-07T11:22:00.000+08:00

Some pics of Jeromi's non birthday cos he is forever 25 and he has a date. Mr bite boy also has a date but it ended in the usual french dramatics, aka cold shoulder.
National Monument
La biatch
The mafia
Jerome and Date - so romantic!
Me and Mr Bite
Mr Trash Talker

Amazing cheap thrill

2007-07-07T11:10:00.001+08:00

Last thursday morning, in a state of lethargy and boredom, I went down for a smoke from my office. The few of us gathered outside the building entrance huffing and puffing away when one of my colleagues screamed, "Look! The Amazing Race! The cluebox!"

Girraffe necks started to look around and yes, there it was, the cluebox planted next to the taxi stand. We got really excited and started sweeping the area with our peripheral vision for the camera crews. In less than 3 mins, we started seeing people with cameras running in. We exclaimed in unison, "They are here! They are here!"

Of course the teams found the clue box and went to their challenge - propelling themselves on a wire from the top of Tower 3 to Tower 4. That's a 44 storey dead drop. Luckily, we had a bird's eye view of the proceedings (as you can see in the photo). Yes it was a cheap thrill but how many people can say they saw the amazing race 'live'.

Lalala...

I LOVE DONUTS

2007-07-07T11:04:00.000+08:00

I love Krispy Kreme

These are not Krispy Kreme, but not bad

Room with a View

2007-06-29T01:59:00.000+08:00

The view from my office

Sleepless

2007-06-29T01:34:00.000+08:00

I couldn't sleep tonight. It's around half-past-one in the morning. Today or rather yesterday had been a really exhausting day. I don't know why... must be old age :-) I went straight to bed when I got home at 8pm. Woke up with a headache at 1am. Missed my friend's 30th birthday, and another friend's event, as well as broke my resolution to go to the gym.

Why so tired today? The agenda wasn't busy but I sure witnessed some heavy stuff today. Working for the Yellow Ribbon Project sure isn't fun and games. It was in that auditorium today, I witnessed some 24 individuals resolute to make a better life for themselves. One of the inmates have been asking for his father's forgiveness for the past 5 years to no avail. But I am sure he will suceed some day. He is even taking his A' levels this year. Life's odds against them, they perserve for acceptance and improvement. It struck me just today what a worthy cause i am working for. I am lucky in that sense.

Public relations in all its insidousness as some prefer to see it has a undeniable good side as well. In the end, it's about changing perceptions. Seeing the inmates, the stories are real and the change is real. No amount of PR can replicate that. I'm glad to be a carrier of the message.

On a personal note, I feel compelled to look at myself. I am lucky. Or rather I should feel lucky. Family is doing good for some time now, work is consistent, bills can be paid and money can be earned back. Life is not just about enjoyment, it's also about responsibilities. I will try and do things better.

La Dolce Vita

2007-06-25T22:42:00.000+08:00

It's alive!

Mettiti in Posa!

One million dollars!

Behind the scenes at TT Top Model

2007-06-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

Chief Judge and Supermodel, Diana K and the panel of judges

The girls posing for paparazzi and signing autographs

The girls posing with the judges

Don't forget to catch Singapore's Next Top TT Model next week to find out who will win SNTTTM.

Do you Wanna Be On Top II

2007-06-24T21:34:00.000+08:00

Last week, in Singapore's Next Top TT Model, Sylvie the french salope was eliminated and was sent home to the Marais in Paris.

This week, four girls remain. Who will become Singapore's Next Top TT Model?

Janet from small town Seng Poh in Africa

Franka from fishing village south of Kyodo

Philippa from fashion capital Milan, and

Cindy from Montparnasse on the Rive Gauche

The photshoot challenge this week required the girls to perform free-style, coming up with the most innovative poses and looks. It was a tough challenge especially for Janet as a plus-sized model but she sucked it up and gave her best shot. Her rival, Phillipa from Milan had it easy with her avant-garde looks and fabulous personality. Both Franka and Cindy breezed through the photoshoots with their inspired posing and FIERCE looks.

The judging panel looked at the film from the photoshoots and were amazed by the shocking standard from the girls. Chief Judge and Supermodel, Diana K assessed the girls individually:

Janet, You really outdid youself this week. The form and shape of your photo is beautiful. But... the judges feel that plus size models aren't exactly in demand. We looked at your film and couldn't picked out one that showed you face. You have an exotic look which will launch a thousand covers. But you did not play that to your advantage. Here are your best shots.

Franka, you have grown so much throughout this competition. When you first got off the boat from Japan, you didn't speak a word of English. Now look at you... Your family back in the village will be so proud of you. However, your photo this week is weak. You knew very well that you have thunder thighs and they are very hairy. But you played them up and showed them to the world at the photoshoot. Not a good decision.

Phillipa, you have an advantage over the other girls because of your knowledge in fashion. You also have the best legs in the competition and beautiful smoky eyes. But that didn't come across in your photo this week. You legs look weird in that pose and your eyes did not connect with the camera. The judges are disappointed.

Cindy, cindy, cindy... what can I say. Your photo is the strongest this week. You made use of the props available and created poetry in motion. It's like watching an Almodovar movie. However, the judges feel that you might be too old for the competition. 18 is a little too late to start in the demanding world of high fashion.

Who will become Singapore's Next Top TT Model. Tune in next week to find out......

DO YOU WANNA BE ON TOP?!!

Moving rubber?

2007-06-21T16:42:00.000+08:00

The pink one works best for me. But I still prefer TIGI. Smells better.

Goodbye Saint Gap, Hello Marais!

2007-06-09T14:35:00.001+08:00

Three tips to being Sylvie:

1. Be a Gourmet of the finest gastronomia

2. Know how to hold your liquor

3. Be a grosse salope!

Do You Wanna Be On Top???

2007-06-09T14:30:00.004+08:00

Jerome the chameleon. He's fierce!

With Supermodel Diana K!

Danny the crazy intern strikes again!!!

2007-06-09T14:24:00.001+08:00

Anna

2007-06-02T14:56:00.000+08:00

I had a dream last night. It's weird that I only just remembered. In the dream, I was asking Anna out, and some busybody told me she was celebrating Maxim's brithday.

I'm not confused to why I had that dream. Since the drama some weeks ago, Anna seemed like a different person, a bit spaced and dissociated.

I read her blog. It's sad to know she feels this way. It's even sadder I couldn't help her. This is something she has to work out on her own. But one word of advice from the "guy who is always right" Anna - some things are better left in the past, otherwise you will not be able to move on.

I miss the old Anna. Let's hope she comes back soon.

Object of Desire

2007-06-02T14:20:00.000+08:00

I WANT!!!!

Les Musiques Que J'aime

2007-06-02T13:53:00.001+08:00

Marie highly recommends Karl Lagerfeld's favourite songs. I think it's great!

Trust no one

2007-05-31T23:02:00.001+08:00

I have a pocket guide on "Cures for the Company Blues - 15 Early Warning Signs of a Company's Failing Reputation". It contains 15 short and useful pointers for leaders to pre-empt reputation failure and recommended steps to take with relevant stakeholders.

As I have said, it is a useful guide. But how many companies actually pay attention to the signs? It's all about P and L, and the adage "no one is indispensible" is true to form in most organisations. Why am I writing about this? Because something happened recently. Something which made me rethink my professional beliefs and reassessed the passion in what I do. Is the passion deserved?

While I'm lucky to have a great mentor and manager whom I respect and learnt alot from, I'm quite disgusted by the professional environment we operate in. We have a term in the office to describe sneaky personable interviewers that interviewees like. They are called the smiling assasins. I think this is more pervasive in PR. Every office has politics. Correction. Every environment with power and hierarchy has. Even the church. This is inevitable. We are dealing with humans with ambitions.

I have ambition. I resolve to play the game.

Perhaps when I become management one day, I'll write a book. It will be called "Trust no one".

New New New

2007-05-31T16:23:00.000+08:00

It's not much but I like my new place. Or room rather. This past few weeks have been back-breaking, moving to a new place far deep in the West. What used to take 10mins to Orchard now takes 30mins. Regardless, it's nice and quiet with the occasional nagging.

Exciting features of the new place include a walk in wardrobe :-) I have also started saving. See the golden pig? Oh Diani has one too. Piggy will help me amass a micro-fund for a holiday, wardrobe or a new bag. Talking about bags, don't you love my new bag? Never one to spend $ on bags, this one really won me. Good job Christopher.

Everything is neatly and strategically place to maximise good chi and positive energy. All my shit compartmentalised into holes. Don't we all love holes? Still alot of work to do though. I need to spruce up the wealth, health and love corner. Lilian Too knows best.

The upcoming month I don't wanna think about too much. With the changing dynamics at work and impending events, I will need to focus all my energies there. Food for thought for the career corner. Hmmm...

Money Money Money

2007-05-10T16:18:00.000+08:00

Is money everything? Is money the root of all evil? If I have money, I would be able to settle all my debts. If money didn't exist I would have no debts.

But then again, if the world doesn't operate on money, something else would take its place for trade. Maybe bananas or sex favours? I prefer the latter cos i'm a giver haha...

In the wise words of ABBA: "Money Money Money, must be funny, in a rich man's world". But what's so funny? Maybe because they sung for only less than 10 years and people are still buying their albums 20 years later. And of course, they are billionares. No need to work, just collect money. "In my dreams I had a plan, if i got me a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work at all and fool around and have a ball." That must be self-actualising prophecy.

I should cut a record called "Francois Francois Francois". It may just happen. So is money important? Yes. Is it a be all and end all? In this age, I believe so. Everything has a price. Maybe except family and friends, the ties that bond.

Everything else is negotiable.

Petmehard

2007-05-08T13:05:00.000+08:00

I have a friend in France who is an SPG. He also likes chapatti. He is very confused. I don't know what happened to his legs but he needed surgery. Maybe he mashed too hard on the sling.

Poor Petme, have to shave his legs and have his knee opened up. Hope he gets well soon so he can lift his legs behind his ears again for the rugby player, teacher, lawyer, doctor, fireman, pizzaboy and anything on two legs.

Petme, come back sooooooooon!!!

CALLING FOR YOUR VOTES!

2007-05-07T15:10:00.000+08:00

Hi people,

I'm planning for a holiday in late July for about two to three weeks. After much consideration, I have narrowed down my choices to Sydney or Paris.

Send in your votes in the comments section and tell me which city I should go (Sydney or Paris) and WHY?

Many thanks and kisses xxx...

J'aime Regarder Les Mecs / Amoureux des Francois

2007-05-07T13:27:00.000+08:00

Oui. It's true. i am in love. Dangerously in love. With Francois :-) See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francois_Sagat

Tres tres beau right? With grosse bitte :-) I want to move to Paris, wait on tables and learn French. So we can get paxed :-)

A boy can dream....

Especially when it's Monday and it's blue. i wonder what I am doing in this life. Working in a demanding job, constantly having to validate and prove yourself. That's not me... that used to be me.

People talk about burning-out form work all the time, especially people in the PR industry. I used to think that that was an urban legend. How do people burn out from work? I'm beginning to understand it now. I need a vacation. Like NOW.

I just read in the papers that recently, someone died from work. Or rather work related causes. Scary isn't it? I don't want to become like that. No no no. I still want to speak french and eat croissant. Have a nice chateau in the country. Two kids with Francois. Hahahaha...

Indeed... a boy can dream.

So Long! Farewell!

2007-04-17T15:11:00.000+08:00

Last week was wild! A Swiss send-off for our exiting Market Leader, CJ.

Me, crazy intern Danny and Swiss milk maid

Danny the Menace

2007-04-17T15:08:00.000+08:00

The crazy intern in my office

I just have to post this!!! Probably the only time you'll hear what sounded like a high F from a tenor. I give you Gregory Kunde!

2007-03-30T00:20:00.000+08:00

The Usual Rant

2007-03-07T11:10:00.000+08:00

It's a brand new week and i look like crap. Layo & Bushwacka is playing at MOS this Friday. Should I go? Yeah but no but yeah but no but... Will see.

The incompetent lawyer / house saga is over. Now I have to find dough equivalent of six Chanel bags to pay the agent. Wait wait... happy thoughts. Things are improving... that's occasion to celebrate and party at Taboo till 6am. Hehehehe...

My friend Diana is still hiding McVet from us. Hmmm... maybe he has three eyes and two noses and she is embarassed to show him to us. Or maybe she is too afraid we would pounce on him, which is more the case :-) Then again, this is a true test for his straightness and ever-lasting love for Diana right???

Things are beginning to feel monotonous at work. I need some excitement, like someone sends me a parcel / gift to my office "What a surprise". Yes I need a perk-me-up. Hint hint everyone...

Some recent highlights:

Moving on in chains

2007-02-25T23:35:00.000+08:00

There comes a time when everyone needs to leave behind their past and embrace change. This week I'm embracing change. While I was packing my stuff into boxes today, I began to realise how much shit I have amassed over the year. Seeing my oils and acrylics sure brought back memories of when I was in arts college.

Then there were the old photos. Tucked away in the trunk of oblivion, I had not seen these for almost a decade. There were the baby photos, old school photos and pictures of old friends whom I have lost touched with. It was as if my whole life flashed in front of me to the sounds of Goldfrapp in the background. I realised how far I have come, how much I have done, and how much I have aged.

The dull depressing feeling, I don't think was due to the move, nor the memories. While I have done satisfactorily well for myself, my parents are still the same. Don't get me wrong, i love my parents. But I wish they had bettered themselves through the years. Become more empathatic and responsible. They never change.

But I am grateful for what I have and that includes them.

I made a resolution. Next year when we get a permanent roof over our head and if it is financially is possible, I'll move out.

I'll be living out of a suitcase for the next two weeks. This is the interim between vacating my old place and getting keys to the new place. I'm a capricon. I hate uncertainty and insecurity.

Wish me luck cos it's a long and winding road ahead.

To Cut or Not To Cut?

2007-02-17T20:05:00.000+08:00

The perennial dilemma... to cut or not to cut?

Every once in a while, due to nature and partly due to laziness, my hair grows over my ears. Exacerbated by the glossy images in Details and GQ, I am tempted to keep my hair long. Let it grow... the i don't really care about my grooming A&F hippie hair look. While I am tempted to let it grow into rapunzelville, some strange urge always tells me to go visit Anneth (my hair stylist).

Look at me with longer hair, just bordering on long (see pic below), it's longer than usual... Then look at me before, with short hair. Lets end it once and for all... a show of hands please. Long or short hair?

So how? Btw, the second pic was like 2 years ago.

CJ also known as Lao Bu (Mother)

2007-02-16T11:16:00.000+08:00

When I saw her at the Christmas party months back, two things went on in my mind:

1. Alias

2. Did we hire a stripper?

All good things must come to an end. I might have had nine short months with her but the changes she brought to the place is "Beyond Words". Hehehehe...

We all know how good she is on the field. She can talk black into white and convince people that dinosaurs are still alive. More importantly, she has created an environment in which I look forward to come to everyday.

I can tell the decision wasn't easy for her. She is special and irreplacable. She will be missed.

Hey Bill, can we clone her?

Just Happy

2007-02-15T14:46:00.000+08:00

Happy happy happy... that's how I am feeling these days.

I have been thinking positive, I have been laughing alot, been hanging out with people with good vibes.

Was in Bangkok last weekend, the tarot card reader said that i'm to CLEVER (in thai accent) and need to feign stupidity. Haha...

Was a fun trip, but I now have a credit card that I won't be using for a very long time :-)

Madeline visited me

2006-08-31T20:15:00.000+08:00

I felt like I just survived a nazi torture chamber.

I would have confessed. Anything you wanted to know. I would have told you.

When they pulled the motherfucker out of me, the pain was one of sustained profundity.

If I had know. I would have allowed it to decay cos the pain is nothing compared to the nazi tourture chamber.

I thought I died.

R.I.P.
31 August 2006

What the Fuck!

2006-01-05T14:38:00.000+08:00

Bang cock is heaven on earth. Food galore with rats crawling in the drains, food stalls by the road side with inadequate washing amenities. The boys there are one of a kind. Fun loving, perhaps too fun loving.
Vacationing with the TTs had been an experience. It felt just like home. The same routine - drinking, getting trashed, kissing strangers, mashing (with strangers), etc. The refreshing thing about this trip was Crystal and Mr Porco Dio. The former scored full marks for her adaptability while the latter takes the cake for the irritant of the year.
This trip was so enjoyable. I learnt alot about my fellow travellers. Meeting up a few times a week is one thing. Travelling together is a totally different matter.

News in Brief

2005-11-16T15:00:00.000+08:00

Good evening, welcome to the news in brief on TT TV.

This week our reporters reported an anomaly with the TTs. Our undercover reporter Josephine reports from the new TTSH.

Alan in panties in the kitchan

Getting excited over a new song we just heard!!!

No the song is not "dangerously in love"

It's the number one hit that even got our undercover reporter Josephine ecstatic!

The song that drove the TTs dangerously crazy - it's KOBRA!!!!

Everyone's doing the KOBRA!!!

The frenzy got everyone in a KOBRA mood.

Resident TT member Riccardo seemed possessed by the KOBRA.

He started giving everyone KOBRA looks.

The night wore on but the KOBRA was on the loose!!!

TO BE CONTINUED.......

My parents would be so proud

2005-11-12T11:12:00.000+08:00

Guess Models - Bree Condon and Tori Paver

Seems like a lot of work!

2005-10-31T12:47:00.000+08:00

I like. Hope you like it too!

Simply Fabulous!

2005-10-15T09:12:00.000+08:00

TT moments at work!!!

That was why I told Glenn I could'nt talk to him on Thursday night :-)

Fucked Up!!!!

2005-10-14T14:40:00.000+08:00

So I'm back! From outer-space!!!

Feels good to be soaking in vodka again after so being out of service for so long. Been real busy with work and getting trashed. So much have changed, Anna is turning lesbian, Ricky has changed place, Diana has turned brunette. Hmmm, what can I change???

The Angmolian and the Singmoh.... shudder....

After a series of fucked up and trashy fun for the past few months, it's time to sit back and look at the fucked up moments and what we have all achieved >>>>

And now the moment we have all been waiting for!!! The Super Ultra Fucked Up Moment Award goes to >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

COCKCROACH AH!!!

Hong Kong

2005-05-05T14:07:00.000+08:00

My Hong Kong adventure left me more tired than before I left Singapore. I guess my destiny is to remain a Trashed Troia. Everyone knows what Hong Kong is good for, shop, eat, shop, eat, shop, eat, snort coke... haha joking. Left me a huge credit card bill too.

Then it was back to a whirlwind week of work. And some Swedish time with Jonas, who was in town to check out the retail market for his business venture here. As much as I would like to be supportive, I realised that we had a communication problem. So much for being a PR professional! Ha ha. We had some nice times - Sentosa was great. Meeting Lars and Shane was great too.

Through some weird epiphany, I realised the one for me wasn't Jonas but someone else. Someone I won't say who. Just because i don't find him funny anymore. The spark isn't there anymore. Someone better comes along and I'm swayed. How many more times will this happen? I don't want to be a serial monogamist. I like things to be constant, consistent and stable.

I get bored easily and I'm certainly not the most pleasant at most times. Maybe the problem is me.

People always say "there is someone out there for everyone", "no man is an island". But what if it's not true? What if some people are destined to be alone?

what you see is not what you get

2005-04-17T02:05:00.000+08:00

Fuck buddies, one night stands, dates.

To me fuck buddies are people whom you do not hang out socially with, you just meet for a roll in the hay when the need arises.

One night stands are people whom you meet for sex once and that's it.

Dates are potential partners, people whom you are attracted to and want to see often.

What's the normal process? Sex first, then date, then decide? Or Date first then sex? People will just say go with the flow. As I come of age, I am more cautious of the approach to things like that. I have compartmentalised my life so much that when I meet the person, i decide whether it's just for sex or more. I'm a control freak. I need things to go my way and I'm always right (almost always). Ha ha... at least I was right on the TT thing.

I'm brash, blunt, up to the point of being rude sometimes. Not a good sight of me. What people don't know is that being so hard on others, I'm twice as hard on myself.

I may come across as a prude sometimes, but i'm practically unshockable and it has come to a point where I do know how the scene works and why do I wanna give other people the benefit of making me look bad? I won't go out of character just so I will be perceived as prim and proper. But just am cautious and think of the big picture.

My point is, I'm happy with who I am. I'm a good citizen. I drink moderately. I pay my taxes on time. I'm most loyal and truthful to my friends. But who knows that? They only believe what they see. You wouldn't know someone's a thief till he steals right? Ha ha...

Perception is reality.

Soliloquy

2005-04-12T16:27:00.000+08:00

Mixed feelings... this doesn't happen often at all. Tonight I go to bed feeling sad. The reason not being clear to me. What's bothering me? Because I missed gym today? Because tomorrow is another day and I know I won't be meeting "the ONE" tomorrow? Or is it because I'll be seeing Christian at Jo-Anne's birthday thingy at Happy this Thursday?

Maybe it's all of the above. I'm not sure. Or was it because I had good sex just now but I don't feel anything anymore? Maybe life has become a series of motions one gets through like a routine. Maybe I need to find purpose again. Maybe I will find YOU. Feel the wind in my hair again.

Maybe I'm incoherent. I'm more resolute than that. I know that peace comes from inside, not what the world has done to/for us. Only we can make ourselves happy.

I'll be better after a good night's sleep.

Another drink please!

2005-04-12T06:10:00.000+08:00

Going out every weekend and getting thrashed. Haha... this has been on my mind for some time. Not insinuating anyone here either haha... I just don't want to be off my face while talking to "potential" dates. Or rather, not recognise the rotten apples from the good ones. Anyway, I can't perform in bed when trashed haha...

I think I support the "Trashed Troias Group, made up of independant beyond AA help people. This group as it's described by the name is self-explanatory. At social environments, while it can get embarassing after a drink too much, it is extremely liberating provided you don't puke on your potential date. I have a friend who is a bona fide Trashed Troia. Every week, without fail, rain or shine, he goes out and get thrashed. Ends the night with someone around his arm and then some. I don't know if I envy his position as 1) I don't like to feel sick after drinking too much 2) I'm much too picky to be able to find someone every week 3) I do care what others think about me.

Like I said to him, "perception is reality". Why regret down the road when your name is dragged through the gutter and potential date or not, they all know about your Thrashed Troia status. How much quality can potential dates who know about your status be? Maybe Thrashy + Thrashy = Everlasting thrashy relationship? But we all agreed to disagree. I think I will remain a closet Trashed Troia while others can let it all hang out.

The Bitch Exhales...

2005-04-04T05:30:00.000+08:00

With the Ferragamo event over, it's time to exhale. Rest and recuperate for the busy week to come.

As I ran around on Thursday troubleshooting glitches and solving the problems of incompetent people, I somehow grew into a monster, barking at any irritation or time-wasting suggestion. Not a good sight of me. To be or not to be... a bitch that is. Jobs need to get done and sometimes without being firm, it doesn't get anywhere. But maybe I was a bit too firm. Maybe I should take a tranquilizer before managing an event next time.

Louis Koo, Christopher Lee, Jacelyn Tay, Rick Tan, Jane Chong, Nadya Hutagalung were there. It has all the potential of a mob scene, papparrazi eagerness and celebrity angst. Louis I must say is nothing out of this world. Snooty and insecure I think.

Diego from the Ferragamo family seems like a nice guy. However, I didn't think he handled very well the three live interviews I've set up for him. In the midst of the publicity rounds, two TV anchors were gifted shoes and a handbag of their choice by Diego. While me, who worked so hard for coverage got a mere limited edition keychain. Life's a bitch!

Met up with Pierre this week for lunch. Still can't figure him out. But I know this enigma will be revealed in time to come.

Models! Models! Jon Jonsson!

2005-03-30T16:10:00.000+08:00

Singapore Fashion Festival this past week was manic! Two major events in the span of four days sure tested my stamina for the superficial and the beautiful. I think working over Easter Sunday kind of celebrated my debut to the industry. "The best show yet of the Festival" some say. I couldn't have been happier.

The shows allowed me to meet lots of people! There was Bouzouk from Paris, I saw Jon Jonsson backstage in his mohawk (he's very hot), and the usual suspects of a major fashion event. There was chaos in order and the energy was quite high and positive. The Romanian, Russian and Czech models were simply divine.

So many gate-crashers and wannabes. We had twice the anticipated crowd begging to enter behind the velvet ropes. I felt so powerful for once... haha.

Michela if you happen to read this, this one's for you! *Winks*

The Winner Takes It All II

2005-03-21T09:33:00.000+08:00

My friend Anna. My dear friend I almost discovered at the Arena, Verona 7 years ago. I guess life has its little miracles and destinies to fulfill. Such a wonderful girl. I cried for her last night for some strange reason. Every time I see her, I feel good and we have loads of fun. We did KTV last night - another trashy, never boring night out among friends.

Chanced upon Christian last night and I retract to that depressed little corner. I hate it that he has that effect on me. The mere sight of him bothers me and makes me incapable of reason. I don't want this to torment me anymore. How do you "uncare" for a person? There he was like a stranger, killing me slowly with his invalidation of me. I've tried this friendship thing but I realised I've lost in this game of solitaire.

It's definitely not any fault of his. Because I was foolish enough to harbour any admission of affection. I expected too much knowing very well that there was nothing to be had. I cannot carry on like this. It just feels empty and unpurposeful. I wish the pain would end.

The Winner Takes It All I

2005-03-19T11:00:00.000+08:00

Three couples that I know broke up of late. All because of fidelity issues. It is rather disheartening to see the state of things. On one side, the game has just began. On the other, the game has just ended.

I'm however not led to believe that it's alright to cheat on your partner. Not that I have one nor had one for the longest time. I guess my great romance has yet to pass me by. And when it happens, I will make it so good there won't be any cheating. Yes, wishful thinking here.

I'm not cynical by nature. I'm just self-righteous but not infallable. I just think that there are right ways to even do the wrong things.

Chiquitita

2005-03-12T13:15:00.000+08:00

Chiquitita, tell me what’s wrong
you’re enchained by
your own sorrow
in your eyes
there is no hope for tomorrow
how I hate to see you like this
there is no way you can deny it
I can see that you’re
oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I’m a shoulder you can cry on
your best friend
I’m the one you must rely on
you were always sure of yourself
now I see you’ve broken a feather
I hope we can
patch it up together

Chiquitita
you and I know
how the heartaches
come and they go
and the scars they’re leavin’
you’ll be dancin’ once again
and the pain will end
you will have no time for grievin’
Chiquitita
you and I cry
but the sun is still in the sky
and shining above you
let me hear you sing once more
like you did before
sing a new song
Chiquitita
try once more
like you did before
sing a new song
Chiquitita

Mamma Mia!

2005-03-09T10:35:00.000+08:00

It's a new week! Very proud to say that I have kept to my alcohol quota the last weekend. I'm not so fun without drinking though.

New discovery 1 - Wine makes me sleepy and Champagne gives me a headache.

New discovery 2 - Coke keeps me awake.

New discovery 3 - Chris isn't interested.

Time to forget what's not meant to be and move on. Just like that ABBA song ;-)

Ricco's birthday this weekend and we're supposed to have a bling bling body art angels and devil kinda party. Gonna get real trashed.

Work wise, so stressed. Still trying to get my story into CNA, PTMS, ST and BT. I think I might have to sleep with someone to get a story... haha.

Crushed

2005-03-07T09:58:00.000+08:00

The past week had been extremely draining... Too many late nights and alcohol. 8 hrs sleep - doctor's orders. Every person needs some company sometimes. Or a crush maybe... maybe an extended dormant one due to circumstances. Having crushes on friends sounds so juvenile. Finally told him and apparently, the truth doesn't always set you free.

Virgin Blogger

2005-03-06T13:51:00.000+08:00

Wow! I have now my own blog page! This is so cool. I guess I've been slow to catch up on blogging (I'm gen X).
Can't believe my life can be condensed into a blog and one day when I am no more, maybe someone will discover this and turn it into a Oscar winning Hollywood movie... hehe...